#122 – The Great Wall … of Pine Straw

I should’ve paid more attention and asked a few questions this morning, when my wife told me she’d hired a couple of guys to install pine straw. Instead, absorbed as I was in the football pregame show, I only half-listened to her explain how (as the men had assured) the application of a thick coat now, at only $4 per bale, will last a full year before further touch ups become necessary. I also wish I’d done more than grunt when Sophia pronounced herself satisfied with the nearly-completed project, before leaving the house two hours later.

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#157 – Epicurean Delights

Perhaps because of her marketing background, my wife will go to almost any length to please customers, my clients included. Unfortunately, her unmatched willingness to kiss ass doesn’t square well with certain other qualities. Sophia tends to be gullible; her culinary tastes don’t extend to exotics; and she retains an urban northerner’s inherent prejudice against all things backwoods. All of those traits were in evidence during our dinners with the Williams.

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#179 – Bloody Hell!

I finally got my pesky bleeder taken care of today. My leaky nostril that is. After weeks suffering involuntary bloodlettings, I bit the bullet and asked my doctor to cauterize the defective nasal vessel. I had no choice, however. As my wife proclaimed, my nose and I would have to sleep elsewhere if we didn’t resolve our problem pronto.

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#201 – Take Paw, Press “Send”

Most people know of the well-worn hypothesis that an infinite number of monkeys using an infinite number of keyboards would eventually produce the complete works of Shakespeare. Prometheus is no monkey, and I doubt he could generate even one of Shakespeare’s shorter sonnets. Nonetheless, as my wife discovered last night, while our puppy couldn’t type a proper sentence if his life depended on it, he’s already displayed a skill for sending e-mails.

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