#13 – A Dip in the Pool

First, I suppose a short update on Prometheus’ education might be expected. Last night, I borrowed a set of dog training DVD’s from my neighbors (not Lucrecia and Hernando; we’ve avoided each other like the plague, since the afternoon everyone realized how badly I keep a secret). The video’s cover advertised the training method as foolproof. And while the series isn’t actually titled “Dog Training for Dummies,” that’s certainly the intended image. Knowing Prometheus and me, all I can say is, “We’ll see.” Moving on, the focus of today’s entry concerns my telephone call with Frank this morning. My wise-ass brother phoned to discuss our sister’s impending nuptials.

Continue reading

#24 – Anything but the Marlboro Man

I hate smoking in general, but I’m especially against marketing tobacco to our youth – Prometheus included. Yesterday morning, a cigarette butt cast aside on my front lawn (courtesy of some unidentified douchebag) proved too tempting a morsel for the young canine. No, he didn’t light up; I have a strict rule against minors playing with matches. However, he did swallow the item whole.

Continue reading

#67 – Wedding Announcements

I promised I’d report on my sister’s wedding, and now’s as good a time as any. Overall, I can’t complain. The ceremony itself – performed by the groom’s Rabbi – was tasteful, and blessedly short. Noticeably, the couples’ vows (carefully negotiated by the divorce lawyer groom and the private detective bride, or so I heard) were bereft of certain traditional elements. Neither Lisa nor Ed vowed to honor and obey the other, or to remain joined for better or worse. Ed, who’d pushed for the “better or worse” omission, may’ve thought he’d scored a major win; but both my brother and I agreed that the lack of the “honor and obey” from Lisa would end up biting the groom in the ass.

Continue reading