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The wife and I had intended to tour parts of southern Georgia this weekend. We planned to use the municipality of Columbus as our base and travel to various regional sites between Friday and Sunday. As it turned out, we made it to Columbus but no further, thanks to me.

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I’m no fan of drive-thru windows. I don’t frequent them, and whenever I’m with my wife I refuse to let her use them either. Unfortunately, I see no sign of their numbers or scope diminishing. If anything, their applications seem to be escalating!

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My wife and I squabble occasionally, and like every other couple we have our issues. On the whole though, I’ve always considered our marriage a strong one. I’ve also thought the people who know us best believed the same. But after my latest Facebook snafu, I’m beginning to wonder.

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My wife hosted her second “lia Sophia” jewelry party last night. Just because I accidentally embarrassed her at the last one by mounting a custom “fathead” of her in curlers and a revitalizing mask on the kitchen wall, she’d given me strict orders to stay away from the shindig. “It’s for women only, anyway,” she added. “And you know what they say, Richard: ‘Out of sight, out of mind!’”

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I finally got my pesky bleeder taken care of today. My leaky nostril that is. After weeks suffering involuntary bloodlettings, I bit the bullet and asked my doctor to cauterize the defective nasal vessel. I had no choice, however. As my wife proclaimed, my nose and I would have to sleep elsewhere if we didn’t resolve our problem pronto.

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I spent most of this morning researching the meaning of dreams. But not just any old dreams; I delved the significance of the sexual ones involving people we know. This investigation took a lot longer than I’d expected. Then again, I admittedly had to dig deep to locate a palatable reason for the doozie which disrupted my slumber last night.

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A stray dog periodically visits our house. I suppose he may not be a true stray, since he sports a collar. But he roams freely throughout our neighborhood, and I have no idea who owns him or where he lives. Because he doesn’t wear an ID tag, I don’t know his proper name. I call him “Columbus” after another notable explorer.

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