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One of the Bar associations I belong to has issued the first call for volunteers, to man our booth at a metro-area festival this fall. Though I’ve participated the past several times, and undoubtedly will sign up once more, I can only hope that nothing like last year’s misunderstanding occurs again.

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My wife and I each have our own peculiarities and compulsions. Mine lead me to conservationism and frugality. Hers … Well, let’s just say, hers do not.
Judging by her actions, I think Sophia’s favorite adjectives must be “clean” and “complete.” She washes the sheets and bath towels twice a week. If she sees a roll of toilet paper two-thirds gone, she removes it. And when her toothpaste tube requires the least bit of folding to squeeze out the contents, into the garbage it goes.

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Until this morning, I couldn’t understand why my wife has been flashing me odd looks for the past week. Nor could I fathom why she twice asked me whether there’s anything about me I haven’t told her, but should? The response I gave to that question, on both occasions, naturally was “no.” Of course, internally, my immediate thought each time was: There’s a lot I haven’t told you, all of which I plan to take to my grave.

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After yesterday’s incident at the mall, I’m beginning to think my neighborhood may no longer be big enough for both us and our neighbors. As it is, we haven’t been on good terms with “Lucrecia” and “Hernando” since the day I inadvertently blabbed my knowledge of Hernando’s cross-dressing fetish. I’m fairly sure now, one couple will need to relocate; else, I’m afraid violence may erupt.

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My wife loves massages. In theory, I don’t, mainly because I’ve never particularly enjoyed being touched. Nonetheless, when Sophia (for my last birthday) purchased a session at a local Asian massage parlor, I could hardly refuse. She told me she’d sprung for the best package – the “Everything” deal – and insisted I’d love it. A couple of months ago, I finally went.

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