#336 – Running Deep and Silent

It’s that time of year again, and my hockey widow of a wife is once more frothing at the mouth over my DVR habits. Well, not so much my DVR habits as my insistence on information blackouts until I’ve watched what I’ve taped. If the New York Rangers make the finals, I suspect I’ll be sleeping on the couch before the last round begins.

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#338 – Tee Time

Ever since the Mrs. forbade me from hiring any more Mexican day laborers, I’ve turned to handymen for all our household projects. I love those guys, mainly because they offer nearly the same quality of work as a specialized contractor, and for half the price! Nor will I let today’s unfortunate episode dissuade me from utilizing handymen in general, and Rick in particular, for future projects.

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#339 – Mother’s Day

It’s not very often I successfully anticipate my wife’s emotions. But I nailed Mother’s Day alright! While we don’t have kids, we do possess a four-legged “child”: Prometheus, our nearly one-year-old Yorkie/Shih-Tzu mix. He may not be human, per se, yet Sophia bought him for me last Father’s Day, and as I accurately surmised, if she considers me the mutt’s daddy then she must think of herself as the mommy!

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#353 – The Juicy Fruit

There are some who handle narcotics well and others who don’t. I, unfortunately, fall within the latter group. Thus, while I remembered to wear underwear and pants upon awakening this morning — thanks to my bathroom mirror note — I did not manage to avoid a second Tussionex-induced embarrassment. But things will be different tomorrow, so my wife assures me!

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#360 – Deadeye Dick

Outside of the courtroom, I don’t usually pay attention to the impression I leave on others. I should though, especially when costumed and in public, since some disguises don’t mesh with certain situations. For instance, it’s never a good idea to visit the airport masquerading as a suicide bomber. Nor should one approach a bank teller while disguised as a cat burglar, ski mask and all. Equally, when dressed as a blind man, a guy probably should avoid any number of activities, in a variety of contexts, lest the wrong conclusions be reached … like yesterday.

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