#151 – Who’s at the Door?

I’d like to strangle the asswipe who first added doorbells to commercials. As all dog owners can attest, their pets can’t distinguish a doorbell on TV from one ringing at their own homes. And every time some television delivery man rings a bell, dogs throughout the land undoubtedly behave exactly like ours: barking like hell while romping around maniacally.

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#166 – Fearful Behavior

Our Yorkie Shih-Tzu mix, Prometheus, displays a curious mixture of bravery and cowardice, both of which are usually unwarranted. For example, he doesn’t hesitate to chase after animals that outweigh him twentyfold. I’ve even seen him try to run down deer in the woods behind our house. Any one of the mammals he harasses could squash him like a bug, yet he’s clearly convinced himself he’s the champion of his surroundings.

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#179 – Bloody Hell!

I finally got my pesky bleeder taken care of today. My leaky nostril that is. After weeks suffering involuntary bloodlettings, I bit the bullet and asked my doctor to cauterize the defective nasal vessel. I had no choice, however. As my wife proclaimed, my nose and I would have to sleep elsewhere if we didn’t resolve our problem pronto.

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#185 – Birds of a Feather

I recently discovered the wonders of “Sharky” on YouTube. For those who don’t know, Sharky is an enormous Pit Bull who’s made friends with all sorts of small animals: a cat; a guinea pig; a wild rabbit; baby chicks; and even an iguana! The chicks, rabbit and guinea pig let the dog lick them with his giant tongue, and the chicks and iguana ride on his back. I find all the videos adorable and funny, and I can’t get enough of them. But as I learned today, Prometheus is no Sharky.

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#201 – Take Paw, Press “Send”

Most people know of the well-worn hypothesis that an infinite number of monkeys using an infinite number of keyboards would eventually produce the complete works of Shakespeare. Prometheus is no monkey, and I doubt he could generate even one of Shakespeare’s shorter sonnets. Nonetheless, as my wife discovered last night, while our puppy couldn’t type a proper sentence if his life depended on it, he’s already displayed a skill for sending e-mails.

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#207 – Car Trouble

My father-in-law drove too far into his garage yesterday and hit the back wall. Luckily, the airbag didn’t trigger and he didn’t get hurt; but both vehicle and wall will need body work. He can’t understand how the device he installed to prevent such a disaster failed so miserably. I can, however; which is why I pray he never solves the mystery.

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