#275 – An Engagement to End All Engagements

It’s hard for me to choose the more welcomed news I received this afternoon. As much as I jumped for joy upon receiving my disinvite to the upcoming McFarland-Davidson wedding, I nearly peed my pants laughing after learning I’d also been unfriended on Facebook by the bride’s father. Neither result surprises me, however, since the only thing smaller than John McFarland’s sense of humor is his religious tolerance.

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#290 – How We Met

I haven’t read the statistics on couples who met through the internet, but I know there’re a lot of them. With a multitude of online dating sites to choose from, technology-based connections have become commonplace. Yet many who found each other online feel embarrassed and concoct false “how we met” stories rather then tell their friends and family the simple truth. Frankly, I don’t get it. My wife and I met through a matchmaking website, and we’re not ashamed to admit it. Jamie and his girlfriend, Tammie, also hooked up online, and they’ll happily share their story with anyone who asks. Of course, there’s a time and place for that kind of sharing, as even the two of them now admit.

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#317 – The Work Wife’s Call

Personally, I see nothing wrong with the concept of a “work spouse.” I had one myself when I toiled at Schwartz Meisner, and my relationship with her never crossed the line. Nonetheless, I’m aware not everyone agrees. There are those who believe the bond between male and female co-workers creates unnecessary temptations of the flesh. Others claim that even without sex, the duos’ emotional attachment violates their marital vows to their real husbands and wives. And then there’s Betsy. While her opinions undoubtedly accord with those frowning on such office relationships, the fact of the matter is she’d never heard of a work spouse … until today.

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#331 – The Board of Escalation

My friend Ava called last night to discuss the recent Board of Education election in which she’d campaigned against four opponents for one of three open seats. Although she vowed never to run for office again, she appreciated the valuable lesson she’d learned. As she put it: “I think it’s fair to say parents don’t want drug-addicted tattletales making educational policies for their kids!”

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#345 – Two in the Hole

Today, my friend introduced me to his younger brother. Steve, a thirty-two-year-old father of three, lives less than an hour away but I’d never met him before. It was touching to see the admiration Ron holds for his little brother. Indeed, I don’t think I’ve ever heard one sibling wax so rhapsodic over another’s accomplishments, trivial or not.

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#350 – $%*& No!

Should the New York Rangers win tomorrow night and force a Game-7 battle against the Devils, I’ll be overjoyed. I’ll still watch the contest on tape though, as I’ve done throughout this playoff round. If there’s any change to my routine, it’ll reside in my source for game recaps. After this morning’s debacle, I certainly won’t seek results from Ned again.

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#355 – Bigfoots Anonymous

My friend Stan has to be the hairiest individual I’ve ever met. Or, should I say, he used to be the hairiest? Despite a careful examination this morning (bordering on the unseemly, according to him), I failed to locate a single stray follicle anywhere on his manscape. I presumed a woman involved and I was right, as Stan informed me while we dressed.

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#356 – The Old Switcheroo

Some people rub me the wrong way and Phil definitely falls among them. He’s a friend of Jimmy’s I’ve mentioned before. You may recall him as the slovenly guy who ate finger foods at lunch one day, after taking a crap and exiting the men’s room without washing up! As I’ve learned from two subsequent get-togethers, he’s also a cheap, conniving braggart – qualities which really irk me. Yet the third time’s the charm and I don’t expect Phil to brag much more once the wager at our luncheon today plays out.

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