#300 – The Hair Trigger

There’s a principle in sports known as “muscle memory.” Athletes practice certain movements until performance occurs without conscious thought. In my experience, the same principle applies to speech as well. I craft responding dialogue for specific professional and personal situations and rehearse the words until they become second nature. I’m then able to seamlessly recite the language upon hearing the applicable trigger. Under the right circumstances, my listeners believe I’m a polished, spontaneous orator. Under the wrong circumstances …? You’ll have to ask those on the receiving end, I suppose, starting with the lady I conversed with this morning.

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#303 – Buyer’s Remorse

As I learned yesterday afternoon, the principle of buyer’s remorse can also apply to baby names. The mother who met with me said she’s come to regret the moniker she selected for her bundle of joy. Although I couldn’t help her, I certainly agreed with her assessment, and I promised to find another attorney to arrange a legal name change posthaste.

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#304 – Wrong Number

I like the old party game, “Telephone.” I think it teaches a lot about human communication, listening skills and psychology. Almost always, the message originally whispered into the first player’s ear becomes mangled beyond recognition by the time it reaches the final participant. And even though the communique in fact may’ve been materially distorted early in the chain, it’s usually the last in line who’s blamed for screwing up the transmission. Having played a round yesterday, I can attest to each of these factors.

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#307 – Murder He Wrote

A chance encounter with a real estate agent this morning helped clear up a mystery that’s been dogging me for months. Up till now, I’ve blamed a deplorable lack of ethics among real estate agents for my in-laws’ purchase of a house down the street from ours. After running into Bill Franks, however, I realize I have only myself to blame for the Gambinos’ proximity.

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#309 – Photo Envy

Perhaps female hiring personnel do discriminate against pretty job applicants out of jealousy. Even if true, however, I’m pretty sure those practices aren’t actionable in Georgia. And even if the law prohibits the conduct in particular cases, I’m not at all sure the woman who phoned me this morning fell victim to such bias.

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