#250 – Trawling the Classroom

For a host of reasons, teachers shouldn’t use their classrooms as trawling grounds for dates with attractive parents. First and foremost are the ethical considerations: perceived, if not actual, preferential treatment for the child of the targeted parent. Then there’s the embarrassment factor: taunting of the child by classmates due to the teacher’s crush. And last but not least is the detrimental impact on the educational system itself: nowadays, kids learn slowly enough without having teachers distracted by efforts to score a new stepchild from the student pool. While most people, including educators, recognize and agree with these concerns, a few require a kick in the ass to properly reorient their moral compasses, like Mr. Rogers for instance.

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#252 – Be My Valentine

The unusual Valentine’s Day experienced by my favorite old lady, Betsy, demonstrates the worth of a couple of trite but true expressions: “seize the day”; and “you’re never too old for love.” I heard all about the lessons she’d learned when I had coffee this morning with her granddaughter.

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#254 – Surprise, Fatso!

Jimmy, Ron and I had a roundtable discussion about weight loss programs this morning. In particular, the three of us debated whether a membership in one can ever be a suitable gift for your wife. Not that any of us want to see our women third-world thin; still, we’d rather forego having spouses whose dress sizes run in double digits. The question is what can a man do when he sees his formerly-svelte bride heading in that ominous direction?

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#255 – The Love Meter

While chatting last week, my friend Ava once again bemoaned the crappy attitude of her youngest son. Unlike his fifteen-year-old brother Stephen, the now-thirteen-year-old Luke shows no respect to his mother, underachieves in school, and treats his home like a garbage dump. I half-jokingly told Ava she wouldn’t have these problems if she’d stop treating the two boys equally. As I put it: “Why show both kids you love them the same, when one of them seems far less deserving than the other?”

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#256 – The Irony of It

Don’t ask me why, but I’m fascinated with the subject of ironic deaths. My prototypical example was the passing of Jim Fixx. You may remember him as an advocate of good health promoted by running and author of the 1977 book, The Complete Book of Running, who suffered a fatal heart attack while running. More recently, I spotted a slightly different but equally absurd example of the genre in an Atlanta Journal Constitution article, titled: “Undersea documentarian killed in helicopter crash.” I’ve often tried to imagine my own ironic expiration as well, but I’ve never been able to conceive a suitable scenario, until last night.

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#258 – The End of Snip Snip?

As an unreligious liberal, I number myself among a tiny minority in Georgia. I rarely involve myself in political debates with my red-state compatriots, because logic seldom figures in the discussions and I’m not going to win an argument centered on religion. Thus, while I’m pro-choice by nature, I don’t typically parade abortion views here. I’ll make an exception today, however, not as to abortion rights, but rather to express my support for the anti-vasectomy bill sponsored by a female representative in the Georgia legislature.

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