#230 – Speaking of Danger

Last night I received another hint why the boy I mentor needs a male influence in his life, even one as questionable as me. Ernie’s teacher had invited me to a recital at the elementary school in place of my normal weekly session with the lad. Not only would he be participating, Ms. McDaniel informed me; Ernie would open the show reading a paragraph he’d written for a homework assignment. He and his classmates had been tasked to write about a problem in the world today, and his piece on the havoc caused by IEDs scored the top mark.

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#232 – What Did I Say?

Today, I visited my mother-in-law for the first time since she accused me of trafficking with the Devil. I agreed to the date only after Maria promised my wife not to attempt an exorcism the moment I walked through the door. Though the old lady kept her word, after our abbreviated get together I vowed never to talk to her again unless she obtains the hearing aid she obviously needs.

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#234 – Crashing the Wedding

My wife and I attended a wedding yesterday. Thankfully, it wasn’t a southern-style affair. The reception didn’t take place at a VFW hall, and we didn’t have to bring our own beer. Instead, since the bride and groom hale from the north, they opted for a New York-type gala. I enjoyed the party, but I thought the marriage ceremony even more entertaining.

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#235 – A New Dimension

Unlike yours truly, my wife is one of those people who resists new technology. While I’m always willing to test out the latest “toy,” she has to be strong-armed into sampling the wonders of the modern world. She waited two years to purchase an mp3 music player, and she still hasn’t turned on our PS3 gaming system despite its presence in our media room for more than a year. Most pertinently, it took months for Sophia to revise her skepticism over 3D movies, even after seeing one!

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#237 – The Measure of Happiness

A few weeks ago, I heard a radio segment on gauging happiness in a relationship. The host had devised a question to elicit his wife’s overall level of satisfaction in their relationship. Although I felt pretty confident in the solidity of my marriage, I liked the idea of certainty. Late yesterday afternoon, I finally summoned the nerve to ask Sophia.

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#239 – Tidiness Isn’t Always Next to Godliness

Phil Donohue, esteemed partner at my old law firm Schwartz Meisner, called today. He thought I’d get a kick out of the near malpractice committed by one overworked associate. Apparently, the kid had let his mail pile up, untouched, for two weeks. After discovering this neglect, Phil imparted the cautionary tale of Luke Flowers’ professional demise, intending it as a warning to the young attorney.

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