#297 – The Shit List

I’ve decided to get serious about my bucket list. After weeks promising my wife I’d create one, and repeatedly overstating the percentage I’ve actually completed, I see no choice but to focus on the things I most want to accomplish before I cast off my mortal coil. I have a long way to go though, since I’ve only managed to jot down one item thus far: “Finish the damn bucket list!”

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#298 – The Age of Innocence

It’s perfectly normal for children to long for adulthood. What little kid hasn’t wished he was old enough to drive, to stay up late, to drink, or even to vote? Indeed, don’t most pre-teens mimic their parents in an effort to seem more mature than their years? I’ve witnessed such behavior on many an occasion and always found it amusing. But what I’d never seen was a little boy anxious to move directly from baby teeth to social security … until this morning, that is.

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#300 – The Hair Trigger

There’s a principle in sports known as “muscle memory.” Athletes practice certain movements until performance occurs without conscious thought. In my experience, the same principle applies to speech as well. I craft responding dialogue for specific professional and personal situations and rehearse the words until they become second nature. I’m then able to seamlessly recite the language upon hearing the applicable trigger. Under the right circumstances, my listeners believe I’m a polished, spontaneous orator. Under the wrong circumstances …? You’ll have to ask those on the receiving end, I suppose, starting with the lady I conversed with this morning.

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#303 – Buyer’s Remorse

As I learned yesterday afternoon, the principle of buyer’s remorse can also apply to baby names. The mother who met with me said she’s come to regret the moniker she selected for her bundle of joy. Although I couldn’t help her, I certainly agreed with her assessment, and I promised to find another attorney to arrange a legal name change posthaste.

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#304 – Wrong Number

I like the old party game, “Telephone.” I think it teaches a lot about human communication, listening skills and psychology. Almost always, the message originally whispered into the first player’s ear becomes mangled beyond recognition by the time it reaches the final participant. And even though the communique in fact may’ve been materially distorted early in the chain, it’s usually the last in line who’s blamed for screwing up the transmission. Having played a round yesterday, I can attest to each of these factors.

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