#258 – The End of Snip Snip?

As an agnostic liberal, I number myself among a tiny minority in Georgia. I rarely involve myself in political debates with my red-state compatriots, because logic seldom figures in the discussions, and I’m not going to win an argument centered on religion. Thus, while I’m pro-choice by nature, I don’t typically parade abortion views here. I’ll make an exception today though, not as to abortion rights, but rather to express my support for the anti-vasectomy bill sponsored by a female representative in the Georgia legislature.

For those who haven’t heard, a Georgia Democrat has proposed the anti-vasectomy law in reaction to a pending bill which would cut down the time in which a woman can have an unrestricted abortion. Representative Yasmin Neal proposes outlawing vasectomies, except for men who’ll die or suffer dangerous health problems without one. It’s mainly a tongue-in-cheek measure meant to send a message to the legislature’s male Republicans, and I doubt anyone sees the slightest possibility of an act getting passed. Nonetheless, I fully support this legislation, and I intend to comport myself as if it’s already enacted, as I informed my wife this morning.

It’s been five months since Sophia countered my complaint about her failure to purchase condoms by scheduling me for a vasectomy. I succeeded in canceling that appointment, and I’ve intentionally sidestepped the issue ever since, despite her periodic reminders. The cowardly lion in the Wizard of Oz may’ve accepted a “snip snip here” and a “snip snip there,” but cowardly Richard Stern would sooner enter witness protection than let someone do a “snip snip” on his man-berries.

Representative Neal’s proposed law seemed the answer to my prayers, so to speak. Like I told Sophia at breakfast today – after she again reminded me to “get that vasectomy taken care of” – I consider myself a law-abiding citizen, and I feel duty bound to honor this new legislation, unless and until it’s tabled.

Silly me; I thought I’d finally put the kibosh on this issue. While Sophia didn’t say a word this morning, she found her voice once more this afternoon … after she’d located the sparse information on Representative Neal’s bill: “Richard, her proposal exempts men who’d die or suffer dangerous health problems without a vasectomy. You know I own a gun, and I can promise you that your health’ll be in serious danger if you don’t get one!”

The place where I’ve been instructed to make an appointment, anti-vasectomy law or not.

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