I called Jimmy this morning to follow up on my Super Bowl matchmaking effort. As he informed me, the single woman I’d attempted to fix up at his party had in fact scored a potential beau, although not exactly in the fashion I’d anticipated.
A day or two before yesterday’s big game, I’d heard a piece on “The Bert Show” offering tips to single women for meeting men at Super Bowl parties. Mary seemed a walking checklist for the radio show’s primer. As suggested, she’d picked a team and advertised her choice with appropriate paraphernalia: namely, a Patriots cap and jersey. She’d also done her homework, as I learned when she opined how no Giant could cover the Pats’ tight end, Gronkowski, bad ankle or not. And last but not least, she’d brought a homemade dish to the party: her famous double-fudge brownies.
After confirming her single status, I asked Mary if she saw any potential suitors. She scanned the room and said “definitely,” while gazing in the direction of Jimmy’s cousin. Tim happened to be standing beside his sister, Eileen, talking to Jimmy. I’d already learned Tim was unattached, so I told Mary to “let me be of assistance” and introduced her to the siblings. Before heading off, I also whispered confirmation of Mary’s attraction in Tim’s ear.
When I spoke to Jimmy this morning, I immediately asked whether Mary had hooked up with Tim. My friend blithely replied: “Not him; his sister.” He added: “That’s so weird. You and Tim must’ve been the only ones at the party who didn’t know Mary’s gay. Tim even got the strange idea Mary was into him. He seemed real disappointed when she took Eileen home with her instead.”
Choosing discretion over valor, I didn’t volunteer to Jimmy how Tim had obtained his “strange idea.” I did, however, mention my surprise at Eileen’s sexual orientation: “Hmm, I had no idea Eileen’s a lesbian.”
I could practically hear Jimmy shrugging from the other end of the line as he replied: “Oddly, neither did her brother … until last night.”