#227 – New Beginnings

I’ve tried home-brewed beer on a number of occasions, and I’ve liked some of it. Once I tasted homemade wine and thought it decent enough as well. And thanks to my friend Jimmy, I now can add basement coffee to my testing list. Except, unlike the other beverages, I have no desire whatsoever to repeat this morning’s Arabica bean experience.

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#228 – Winter Wonderland

My friend Ned spent half the afternoon today fielding calls from every neighbor within sight of his backyard. Though the caller differed each time he answered his office phone, the irate diatribes all sounded the same. Each conversation featured variations of the words “pervert,” “obscene,” and “pornographic.” Utterly mystified, Ned left work early to investigate these complaints.

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#229 – Watch Your Spouse, or Else

If I recall correctly, President Carter once admitted to looking on other women with lust and having committed adultery in his heart. I think most would agree that there’s nothing wrong with a married person fantasizing about another, as long as the spouse doesn’t act on those feelings. But the line starts to blur when married people make excuses to interact time and again with the objects of their fantasies. When that happens, mere looking can transform to outright cheating in a heartbeat; just ask my friend Stan.

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#230 – Speaking of Danger

Last night I received another hint why the boy I mentor needs a male influence in his life, even one as questionable as me. Ernie’s teacher had invited me to a recital at the elementary school in place of my normal weekly session with the lad. Not only would he be participating, Ms. McDaniel informed me; Ernie would open the show reading a paragraph he’d written for a homework assignment. He and his classmates had been tasked to write about a problem in the world today, and his piece on the havoc caused by IEDs scored the top mark.

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#232 – What Did I Say?

Today, I visited my mother-in-law for the first time since she accused me of trafficking with the Devil. I agreed to the date only after Maria promised my wife not to attempt an exorcism the moment I walked through the door. Though the old lady kept her word, after our abbreviated get together I vowed never to talk to her again unless she obtains the hearing aid she obviously needs.

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#234 – Crashing the Wedding

My wife and I attended a wedding yesterday. Thankfully, it wasn’t a southern-style affair. The reception didn’t take place at a VFW hall, and we didn’t have to bring our own beer. Instead, since the bride and groom hale from the north, they opted for a New York-type gala. I enjoyed the party, but I thought the marriage ceremony even more entertaining.

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#235 – A New Dimension

Unlike yours truly, my wife is one of those people who resists new technology. While I’m always willing to test out the latest “toy,” she has to be strong-armed into sampling the wonders of the modern world. She waited two years to purchase an mp3 music player, and she still hasn’t turned on our PS3 gaming system despite its presence in our media room for more than a year. Most pertinently, it took months for Sophia to revise her skepticism over 3D movies, even after seeing one!

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