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Why is every interaction with my wife’s family a lose-lose proposition? The latest fiasco began two months ago, when Sophia assigned me the hopeless task of obtaining HOA approval for her father’s backyard “land of concrete.” To everyone’s surprise, except mine, the Architectural Design Committee rejected Vito’s after-the-fact application for the concrete, stone and cinder block improvements spanning his property. The Committee directed him to remove all the offending items and replace them with sod posthaste.

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I don’t like needles. Consequently, I don’t enjoy having my blood drawn, and I avoid getting shots whenever possible. That’s why I haven’t had a flu shot in years. As I figured, since I don’t have kids and aren’t around them much, I’d be safe enough without a vaccination. And up till now, my reasoning’s panned out. The flu hasn’t hit me since I was a kid. Even so, thanks to today’s mentoring session I’ve reevaluated my logic.

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I hate the decline of civility on the internet, especially the increase in cyberspace bullying. It enrages me when people think lack of personal contact gives them free reign to insult others at will. That’s why I took a stand yesterday, after my Facebook “friend” posted a picture of himself standing next to another guy, whom the caption callously labeled “The Biggest Loser.”

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Last night, a teacher I know was bemoaning the sad state of our educational system. He complained about students who outright cheat or take massive shortcuts aimed at acing tests without actually learning anything. Though I didn’t disagree, I told him teachers and the system itself are to blame, since they permit the practice to continue. And as I can personally attest, it’s an age-old problem, existing at all levels. I practically perfected the art of the half-assed work ethic during my education, and I got away with it! Just to emphasize the point, I shared a typical example from my college career.

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Yesterday, my wife and I attended a get together in our subdivision. Much to my subsequent regret, two people caught me making fun of my in-laws’ suspected (by me) mafia ties again. The first was my wife, who happened to be standing nearby but out of sight when I told my friend Ron the joke I’d recently made up: “How many Gambinos does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. Nobody screws with a Gambino and gets away with it, not even a light bulb!”

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