#85 – Children Beware

I’m in trouble with my wife’s family again. Typically, the problem arose from my interaction with a child. I don’t understand why I’m to blame though, when Sophia’s siblings are the ones who allow me to speak with their kids. As even I know, parents commonly tell their offspring not to talk to strangers. If Sophia’s family would simply add “or Uncle Richard” to that warning, I’m sure we’d all be a lot happier.

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#89 – A Surgical Strike

My sister, Louise, called yesterday. Her first words were: “I had a procedure done.” Unfortunately, I knew what she meant; the threatened plastic surgery on her woman’s parts was underway. I immediately cut her off: “Hold on. You know I can’t take the gory details. So I’ll ask the questions and you answer as briefly as possible, ok?”

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#92 – Accidents Will Happen … to me!

My wife and I turned another corner with Prometheus last night. For the first time, we let the puppy sleep without a middle-of-the-evening potty break. And his crate remained bone dry too! Until last night, one of us always set an alarm for 2:00 a.m., so Prometheus could empty his tiny bladder in the yard where pee-pee properly belongs (as I’ve repeatedly told him). Those late-night strolls have taken a toll on both Sophia and me. As should seem obvious by now, I’m not the most careful soul under ordinary circumstances. And waking from a dead sleep to take a puppy out has proved anything but ordinary. I haven’t been at my best, and the periodic blunders caused by my sleep-deprived brain have tasked the poor woman to her limit.

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#93 – Kissin’ Cousins

Last night, my wife’s brother, Giuseppe, informed her that their cousin Carlo (from Sicily) said to send Sophia “his love.” Her cheeks bloomed a surprising shade of scarlet at the announcement. When I asked what was up, Giuseppe answered: “You mean, my sister never told you about the kissing cousin? Oh, you’ve got to hear this!” I listened, and the tale did not disappoint. Here’s the story.

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