#33 – Not That There’s Anything Wrong with That

There are those who have a knack for reading other people, easily picking up their verbal and non-verbal signals. Then there’s me. Except for the most obvious indicators – like the silver haired granny who flipped me the bird last week, after I accidentally cut her off on the freeway – I’m usually all but oblivious to subtle cues. Take last night, for instance.

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#34 – Anything but the Truth

Since I’m not presently welcome at the in-laws’ residence, I told Sophia’s visiting nephew, Nunzio, he could stop by our house today and throw a ball around. In the midst of playing catch, the 15-year-old caught me off guard with a bunch of questions about drugs. No kid had ever posed those inquiries to me before; nor did I have a clue as to the experts’ recommendations under such circumstances. Not seeing any better alternative, I decided to give him the unvarnished truth. Here’s the meat of our conversation.

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#36 – Who Needs Dramamine?

Last night, I got a call from my best friend, Ned Stilzman. We’ve been tight ever since high school, when he introduced me to hockey and the Rangers. Unfortunately, we don’t get to see each other much anymore, with him living in Maine, and me down south. It’s always great catching up with him though, especially when he tells me a tale of blunder worthy of my most ridiculous episodes.

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#37 – A Taste of Her Own Medicine

Even for the most just of causes, the adage “right place, wrong time” can apply. So I discovered last night. What prompted my righteous indignation in the first place, you ask? Nothing less than Sophia’s unilateral decision to install frilly curtains in our home’s inner sanctum, where I watch hockey, football, and every other TV broadcast of manly pursuits I can find.

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#38 – The Great Outdoors

Early this morning, Sophia and I returned from our abbreviated weekend camping trip. I doubt there will ever be another. Frankly, I was surprised she suggested camping in the first place. The notorious insect and snake hater had never been before (a life-experience omission I’d thought deliberate). As I pointed out when she proposed the concept, “You do realize there’s no manicurist at a campsite, and we can’t bring along the bathtub?”

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#39 – Friends

I recently accepted a Facebook “friend” request from another of my old Dungeons & Dragons’ buddies, Sam Waters. After adding him to my small, but growing, roster of friends, I checked out his profile. It was pretty sparse on details, but did feature a photo. Funny how people can look so much different after a mere twenty-five years or so. The picture showed Sam with a fully shaved head (a far cry from the shaggy blond rug I recalled). And judging by the surprising array of muscles depicted, it seemed as though Sam had exchanged his Twinkies for protein bars, somewhere down the line.

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#40 – Emergency

On occasion, I’ve been known to assume the worst in medical situations. Take the condition which resulted in this morning’s trip to the doctor, for example. I’ve been experiencing a bizarre crunching sensation in my ear, for the past several days. Naturally, I reached the only logical conclusion: “tumor.” And since I could already hear the cancer crackling, I figured it must’ve grown beyond the point of removal.

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