#6 – Porn

My wife’s always denied ever having watched porn, any porn.  After last night, I’m more inclined to believe her. 

Recently she asked me if I thought we should “spice up our love life.”  That’s a phrase I ordinarily view with deep suspicion, owing to an unfortunate incident during my first marriage.  Even so, when the Mrs. finished her thought with “… by watching an X-rated movie together,” I (or to be precise, Little Richard) said: “absolutely!” 

Surprisingly, Sophia volunteered to rent the movie herself so she could sample the full range of the adult entertainment experience.  She even followed through to my much greater surprise.  Last night, she called me into the bedroom and proudly unveiled her special rental.  She’d already cued the DVD to its first scene, having determined to skip “the boring parts.” 

In ten minutes of viewing, Little Richard and I didn’t see anything remotely sparking our interest. I admittedly began to feel a tad bewildered with my wife’s selection.  Finally, I queried: “Sophia, do you believe I have some hidden homosexual tendencies?” 

“Of course not, Honey. Why would you ever think such a thing?” 

“You have to ask, Sophia?  So far all I’ve seen is a bunch of dudes banging other dudes up the ass.  And unless I blinked and missed it, I’m fairly sure there hasn’t been a single vagina on camera.” 

Sophia felt certain that women would appear somewhere in the film, so she grabbed the remote and scanned three more scenes searching for any sign of boobies.  After spotting only a parade of penises, she conceded defeat at last and acknowledged her chosen movie as nothing other than a man-on-man spectacular. 

One particular question nagged me. After belatedly shutting off the DVD player, I asked my wife: “Didn’t the store clerk mention you were renting gay porn?” 

I should’ve known.  She sheepishly replied: “Actually, I was too embarrassed to ask for help and I thought all X-rated movies were the same, so I just looked for a catchy title.” 

Well this I had to see.  I found the DVD case and perused its cover.  Unexpectedly and grudgingly, I couldn’t help but agree with my wife’s assessment. The title was indeed catchy, and fitting too: “Cock-a-Doodle Do.”

cock a doodle doo

Close, but not quite


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